Unrequited love has long been depicted as noble, an unselfish and stoic willingness to accept suffering. Advantages Dante looks longingly at Beatrice Portinari (in yellow) as she passes by him with Lady Vanna (in red) in Dante and Beatrice, by Henry Holiday As Freud long since pointed out, 'when a woman sues for love, to reject and refuse is a distressing part for a man to play'. In fact, research suggests that the object of unrequited affection experiences a variety of negative emotions on a par with those of the suitor, including anxiety, frustration, and guilt. 'There are two bad sides to unrequited love, but only one is made familiar by our culture' – that of the lover, not the rejector. The inability of the unrequited lover to express or declare their love often leads to negative feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. This creates an awkward situation in which the admirer has difficulty in expressing their true feelings, a fear that revelation of feelings might invite rejection, cause embarrassment or might end all access to the beloved, as a romantic relationship may be inconsistent with the existing association. Thus the object of unrequited love is often a friend or acquaintance, someone regularly encountered in the workplace, during the course of work, school or other activities involving large groups of people. ' Platonic friendships provide a fertile soil for unrequited love'. According to some psychologists opposites do attract. But falling for someone who is much more desirable than oneself - whether because of physical beauty or attributes like charm, intelligence, wit or status - Baumeister calls this kind of mismatch "prone to find their love unrequited" and that such relationships are falling upward.
Roy Baumeister, what makes a person desirable is a complex and highly personal mix of many qualities and traits. Route to unrequited love Īccording to Dr. Analysis According to legend, the Greek poet Sappho fell from a rock out of unrequited love for the ferryman Phaon. Psychiatrist Eric Berne states in his book Sex in Human Loving that "Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy sooner." However, the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche contends that "indispensable.to the lover is his unrequited love, which he would at no price relinquish for a state of indifference." Unrequited love stands in contrast to redamancy, the act of reciprocal love, which is the tendency for people to like others who express liking for them. Merriam-Webster defines unrequited as "not reciprocated or returned in kind". The beloved may not be aware of the admirer's deep and pure affection, or may consciously reject it knowing that the admirer admires them. Unrequited love or one-sided love is love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such by the beloved. ( September 2023) ( Learn how and when to remove this template message) Use the lead layout guide to ensure the section follows Wikipedia's norms and is inclusive of all essential details. The lead section of this article may need to be rewritten.
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